lyrics

AVANT GARDENER

I sleep in late
Another day
Oh what a wonder
Oh what a waste.
It’s a monday
It’s so mundane
What exciting things
Will happen today?
The yard is full of hard rubbish it’s a mess and
I guess the neighbours must think we run a meth lab
We should ammend that
I pull the sheets back
It’s 40 degrees
And i feel like i’m dying.
Life’s getting hard in here
So i do some gardening
Anything to take my mind away from where it’s sposed to be.
The nice lady next door talks of green beds
And all the nice things that she wants to plant in them
I wanna grow tomatoes on the front steps.
Sunflowers, bean sprouts, sweet corn and radishes.
I feel pro-active
I pull out weeds
All of a sudden
I’m having trouble breathing in.

My hands are shaky
My knees are weak
I can’t seem to stand
On my own two feet
I’m breathing but i’m wheezing
Feel like i’m emphysem-in’
My throat feels like a funnel
Filled with weet bix and kerosene and
Oh no, next thing i know
They call up triple o
I’d rather die than owe the hospital
Till I get old
I get adrenalin
Straight to the heart
I feel like Uma Thurman
Post-overdosing kick start
Reminds me of the time
When i was really sick and i
Had too much psuedoefedryn and i
Couldn’t sleep at night
Halfway down high street, andy looks ambivalent
He’s probably wondering what i’m doing getting in an ambulance
The paramedic thinks i’m clever cos i play guitar
I think she’s clever cos she stops people dying
Anaphylactic and super hypocondriactic
Should’ve stayed in bed today
I much prefer the mundane.
I take a hit from
An asthma puffer
I do it wrong
I was never good at smoking bongs.
I’m not that good at breathing in.

ANONYMOUS CLUB

Let’s start an anonymous club, we can sit close in the dark.
Come round to mine, we can swap clothes and drink wine all night.
Turn your phone off friend, you’re amongst friends and we don’t need no interruptions.
Leave your shoes at the door, along with your troubles.

Let’s start an anonymous club, I’ll make us name badges with question marks.
Come round to mine, we can swap clothes and drink wine all night.
Turn your phone off friend, you’re amongst friends and we don’t need no interruptions.
Leave your shoes at the door, along with your troubles.

Thank you for cooking for me, I had a really nice evening, just you and me.

ARE YOU LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF?

Are you working hard my darling, we’re so worried, always thinking of you and we just want you to be so happy, keep on going.

I don’t want no 9 to 5, telling me that I’m alive and ‘Man, you’re doing well!’

Have you got some money saved up for those rainy days? You should start some sort of trust fund just incase you fail

My friends play in bands, they are better than everything on radio.

Did you see that special on TV the other eve?

No my TV, it stopped working when we got here (it’s been four years)

Are you eating? You sound so thin.

I don’t know what I was thinking, I should get a job
I don’t know what I was drinking, I should get a dog
Should get married, have some babies, watch the evening news.

CANNED TOMATOES (WHOLE)

I walk slowly to the store
You don’t live here anymore
You used to live round the corner
(cigarettes and alcohol)

Last week I turned twenty four
You don’t call me anymore
We used to speak every morning
I was sleeping on the floor.

I still get the mail for
You I leave it at the door
Every letter seems a warning
Pay your rego by the fourth.

Monday morning laundry or
Coffee on the garden wall
You’re good cos you’re never boring
You should probably call me more.

DAVID

If you see me when I’m feeling down, I don’t know if I want you around
Don’t want you around…
I don’t really like any of your friends, but it’s not that hard for me to pretend
Hard to pretend…
Come on Davey, let’s go plant a tree. You bring the spade, I’ll bring the seeds
I’ll bring the seeds…

DON’T APPLY COMPRESSION GENTLY

Tell me what you’re thinking, what you’re thinking about
Tell me when you’re finished maybe I’ll come around
Had enough to bring me all the way to the ground
I don’t have to tell you what I’m thinking about

You have made your bed, I know better than to sleep in it
Better off dead than the hell that will become of it
You have hurt my head but I’m not denying
That I did not bring it on myself

I take pieces of myself from everyone around me
I’m not individual enough for you
I replicate the people I admire
But at least I’m not bitter and sad

I may not be 100% happy but at least I’m not with you.

HISTORY ERASER

I got drunk and fell asleep atop the sheets but luckily i left the heater on.
And in my dreams i wrote the best song that i’ve ever written…can’t remember how it goes.
I stayed drunk and fell awake and i was cycling on a plane and far away i heard you say you liked me.
We drifted to a party – cool. The people went to arty school. They made their paints by mixing acid wash and lemonade

In my brain I re-arrange the letters on the page to spell your name

I found an ezra pound and made a bet that if i found a cigarette i’d drop it all and marry you.
Just then a song comes on: “you can’t always get what you want” – the rolling stones, oh woe is we, the irony!
The stones became the moss and once all inhibitions lost, the hipsters made a mission to the farm.
We drove by tractor there, the yellow straw replaced our hair, we laced the dairy river with the cream of sweet vermouth.

In my brain I re-arrange the letters on the page to spell your name

You said “we only live once” so we touched a little tongue, and instantly i wanted to…
I lost my train of thought and jumped aboard the Epping as the doors were slowly closing on the world.
I touched on and off and rubbed my arm up against yours and still the inspector inspected me.
The lady in the roof was living proof that nothing really ever is exactly as it seems.

In my brain I re-arrange the letters on the page to spell your name

We caught the river boat downstream and ended up beside a team of angry footballers.
I fed the ducks some krill then we were sucked against our will into the welcome doors of the casino.
We drank green margaritas, danced with sweet senoritas, and we all went home as winners of a kind.
You said “i guarantee we’ll have more fun, drink till the moon becomes the sun, and in the taxi home i’ll sing you a triffids song!”

In my brain I re-arrange the letters on the page to spell your name

LANCE JR.

I masturbated to the songs you wrote
Resuscitated all of my hopes
It felt wrong but it didn’t take too long
Much appreciated are your songs.

Doesn’t mean I like you man
It just helps me get to sleep
And it’s cheaper than Temazepam.

I under-estimated your intelligence
A little bit of weed mixed with some sentiment
Over-rated films marked ‘XXX’
Come on play it with some tenderness.

ODE TO ODETTA

I sing high, you sing low
I swing by, and you’re not home

Oh, oh, O-detta won’t you come home.

I sing plain, you sing pretty.
Everything you say sounds easy

Oh, oh, O-detta won’t you come home.

OUT OF THE WOODWORK

I was busy underwater seeing how long I could hold my breath.
A drowning flower caught my eye and I had to come on up for air.
Just because you’re older than me, doesn’t mean you have to be so condescending.
I still see the same things that you see, I’m a little shady on my history.

I am normally pretty forgiving but only if you are.

She’s so easy.

I noticed you stopped talking to me, now you’re talking to me all the time.
Do you know you’re no good at listening? But you’re really good at saying everything on your mind.
It must be tiring trying so hard, to look like you’re not really trying at all.
I guess if you’re afraid of aiming too high, then you’re not really gonna have too far to fall.

I am normally pretty forgiving but only if you are.

She’s so easy.

Climb aboard the wagon when it comes on through.
Jump up on your horse and tell me how’s the view.
Look over my shoulder when I talk to you.
Where’s the more important person in the room?

PORCELAIN

I found you at the store, pretty as porcelain
You are worth so much more, than what you’re going for
Don’t let them handle you, you better start praying
That ain’t no way to be, I got a colour TV

I’ll listen a thousand times, you can repeat yourself
If it helps clear your mind, it’s just another night
Call me when you are done, I’ll count my tickets up
No need to feel so low, you’re just as low as you could go.

SCOTTY SAYS

In my wallet is a photo of you
The day we split I ripped it in two
Stuck it back together with glue.

Tear my posters down from the wall
Don’t wanna worship no dead heroes
Everything I owned I sold.

I got lost somewhere between here and there,
I’m not sure what the town was called.

In my pocket is a bottle of blue
Drink it when I’m feeling misconstrued
Don’t like the taste but I like the overview.

I made a lot of money in my days
Spent it all on the current craze
I don’t see no need to save.

I got lost somewhere between here and there,
I’m not sure what the town was called.

All lyrics copyright Courtney Barnett.